Sunday, August 16, 2009

Update on Raccoons

So, tonight when I got home from my escapades and let the dogs out, the infamous "Teacha" called out across to me. He had to tell me his version of his wife's story about the raccoons in my yard.

Quick backstory: He just moved into the house across the street a few months ago. He loves to drink his 40s, then give prophecies and lots of advice, especially if it somehow entails him making money off of my efforts. The beer makes him relatively incoherent, and you have to take the bits and pieces you heard repeated 18 times, then sift them to figure out what he's really talking about.

According to him, there were about 30-50 raccoons in the yard that night. (Quite an impressive range, no? Remember, his wife said only about 20.)

And, I guess anywhere from 8-10 or 15 (depending on which point in the conversation you're at) went around the corner on the one street. And the same number went around the corner on the other street. And the same number when directly through my yard to the adjoining yard. And I got ROBBED, or shafted, or....[insert any other similar adjective], because those stupid creatures stole all of my food.

I kept trying to ask him what Animal Control said, and wasn't really getting anywhere. It pretty much sounds like, the reason the raccoons have set up shop behind his garage is due to the water in the basement that his landlord seems to refuse to do anything about. And Animal Control won't do anything because "someone is feeding them."

Yeah, I purposely planted all of that food in my yard because I wanted to feed the wild animals in the city. I wasn't really trying to have some fresh, healthy, organic produce and to save myself a significant chunk of money during my unpaid summer in this crappy economy.

So, Teacha recommends that I start complaining to the city. Of course, he has grandiose dreams of me filing suit against the city (it started with me losing $1000 -- which is an overstatement, though perhaps not by too much -- and ended with $30,000). And of course he'll have my back, so that he can share in my earnings. And he thinks I'll end up on CNN.

(More backstory: He constantly has some scheme in mind where I do all the work and earn all the money, but because it's his idea and he can supposedly help me with the paperwork, he should be a 50-50 partner in reaping the financial rewards.)

So, basically, I guess it needs to start with me calling Animal Control myself, and starting from there. Do I really feel like spending all this time with it? Not really. But it is a serious problem, and it's affecting the entire neighborhood, so.........

I'll keep y'all posted.....

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